If you want to see what the functions inside my brain look like, it sorta looks like this.
PICTURE OF BARTO’S BRAIN
Each linear stripe represents all the twisted emotions I go through on a daily basis… as you can see, these lines intertwine my anti-social behaviour, depression, social withdrawal and yes, even suicidal thoughts, which come and go like a keg of beer at a Superbowl party.
Now that we’re on the subject of Football, I always found College games more exciting , the players have more stamina and really do play better in my opinion, Notre Dame & Michigan just released their new uniform designs… it really shows how advanced their thinking is when it comes to updating sports apparel in this new century.
You can expect more updated looks from other teams for all types of sports in the coming years… these dudes are core ROCK BOYS ® material, corn fed and ready for action!
But let’s get back to Emo chat… taking a short cut to the pearly gates would be a breach of faith against the creator, most likely I would be sent back to start the process of life on this mud ball all over again until I learned the purpose of my existence.
After Ten years, I now have closure on 9/11 and like most of you, I too want to savor that eternal pie in the sky in a peaceful and blissful way so there will be no shortcuts taken today, not now or ever and yes, the journey of our lives will get harder and more painful to be sure… but hey, it’s all going to be over before you know it.
When I see how fast life goes by, especially after the age of 30, I know I’ll be leaving this planet in a natural way when I turn 57 on November 30th, the horizon of 60 is just 3 years away so if you really do care about my state of being… mail me a real “old school” Birthday card via the Post Office, it really will cheer me up! (e-cards do not cut it for me anymore) or better yet, buy me a nice crossbow so I can improve my archery skills… this Sagittarius with three Scorpio’s in his birth chart really needs a good bow & arrow!
Hmmm… but what if I live way past everybody and make it to 120?
In 1983 when I was living in Monaco like a sea urchin on Monte Carlo’s Larvotto Beach, where women may go without their bikini tops, but wouldn’t dare be seen without their jewels, I drew silly things on scraps of paper and seashells I carried with me from Majorca in the hopes of selling them to passers by, an old gypsy took me in, she had a huge Jimmy Durante nose protruding from her pebble strewn face, wearing a gem studded necklace that looked like it came from Van Cleef & Arpels, looking into the recesses of my soul she said…
” you gonna liva to be a hundred ana twenty becausa you no finisha wita your life una tilla then, now gimme a look at yor wee-wee, I gonna tella mora yor future fora next century”
As Jimmy D would say: “Ha-cha-cha-cha-CHA!”
Jimmy Durante 1893-1980
Hmmm… does that means I’ll have 63 more years left before I can see my long lost friends who are traveling in the light and having heavenly parties without me?
I have learned TIME does indeed accelerate the older we get, it can also be slowed down a little bit in order to make an assessment of the young people who will eventually replace us.
“Patience is a Virtue” as the saying goes, and since I have zero patience and about 50% virtue left, my hyper-dimensional brain with all it’s bends and curves, radiation doses and hard knocks is still a marvelous glob of Jell-O, so when I eventually do pass on to the other side, please do not send it via FedEX to the Smithsonian Institute, even if they promise to put it in a fancy Jar next to all the other creepy stuff they have, I prefer it be used to feed that hungry Killer Whale at Sea World, SHAMU… the tourists will love it!
Now, allow me to introduce a most cherished friend and prolific writer who vagabonds all over the world… when in NYC, he has an uncany ability to make any Public Library his home as long as there is a StarBucks nearby, click on the following link to read the adventures and opinions of that Columbian Viking boy… Lyonel Laverde Hansen.
If any of you folks are into singing, dancing or acting your way into Broadway, Lyonel has several scripts which will catapult your career and make you a star… he really will!
oohh, the Jell-O in my brain feels so much better, thanks for stopping by… ’till we meet again.